The Dirty Dozen

Saturday Gunnar, Betsy and I headed north to Pittsburgh for the 27th Annual Dirty Dozen. If you’re not familiar the DD here is how it began. In 1983, Dan & Tom Chew and Bob Gottlieb wanted to showcase Pittsburgh's steepest and toughest hills in one ride, never getting more than 10 kilometers away from the center of the city. So on Saturday December 17, 1983, the first Dirty Dozen ride was held in 27 degrees F with snow flurries. At that first DD there were only 5 rides, however it has really grown in recent years as 181 riders showed up for this year’s event.


Gunnar (a former DD winner) had no plans on trying to compete this year due to a broken rib or two, that occurred racing cross the weekend before. However Betsy was in it to win it, and I was there to try and become the heaviest person to ever finish the event. On the ride up Betsy and I were super nervous and we both laughed at how silly were being about it in the car. Gunnar probably thought we pretty dumb. An hour and half after leaving Morgantown we found ourselves pulling into the parking lot in Pittsburgh. The place was packed with riders and a record turnout had registration running a little behind so the start was going to be a little late. I sure didn’t have a problem with that cause I used the extra time to make my rounds and talked to all my Pittsburgh friends that I don’t get to see that much. Suzanne, Steve-O, Powers, LA, and a whole gang of other seemed pretty happy to see the WV crew up in their neck of the woods.


After about a half hour delay we were ready to head out. Ryan Post, Kean Bird and Scott Benson also made the trip up from Morgantown to try their hand at the monster climbs. We all rolled out together and only Gunnar really knew what was ahead of us so in our group the nerves were running a bit high. The start was a blast. A 181 person peloton through the streets of Pittsburgh is very cool. It was only a few miles or so before we came to our first climb of the day. Center Ave was a shock to the system. It was long steep and painful. Halfway up I wondered what had I gotten myself into. There was a reason no one heavier than me had ever finished the event. As the snot poured from my nose because of the cold morning air I suffered to the top. However I received a really warm welcome from Gunnar, Betsy, Montana, Sticks, LA and Don to name just a few. That put a smile on my face even after all the pain from the climb.


Next we headed for Sharps Hill. I am not going to give a full recap of every hill because we would be here forever. Sharps’ was however in my mind ever harder than the first hill. UGH! The ride to the third hill seemed to be a good 3 or 4 miles. It was a well needed recovery for my legs. Climb three was Berryhill. It’s not a long hill maybe 200 yards long but it is steep and tricky. There is a steep descent leading into the hill but then the beginning of the climb shoots straight up. By the time I arrived at the hill many had already made their attempt. IT LOOKED LIKE A WAR ZONE. Bikes and riders were lying on the ground, people off to the side of the road looking shell shocked, it was crazy. I however somehow gathered myself and slow and steady climb to the top. For me short very steep hills like Berryhill are not so bad and I was happy to have clicked off one of the 13 climbs with not much pain.


To not write a book lets fast forward a bit. Sycamore Street was climb number eight and to get to it we had to ride right through downtown. This was one of my highlights of the whole day. Picture this, 181 riders not stopping at any lights and just hailing between sky scrapers downtown. All the folks on the sidewalks were even cheering for us. What a cool feeling. Sycamore Street takes you up to the well known Mt. Washington area. You know the shot of the incline going up the mountain, seems like you see this image just about every time you watch a Pittsburgh football game on TV. It was a beautiful view of the city once to the top. However I started to feel some real fatigue in my legs on the way up and worry started to settle in. I still had five serious climbs ahead of me, and next was Canton Ave. This hill had a 37 percent grade and Betsy and I expressed our worries about that one on the car ride up. If you are ever board look up Canton Ave on youtube you will find some funny stuff. Not only will you find videos of the Dirty Dozen but also folks trying to climb the hill in cars with little success.


I had to make a pit stop on the way to Canton because my bladder was full, and by the time I got there folks were already literally lying on the road. Oh boy I thought to myself. This was going to be the make or break hill of the day. If I could just get to the top my chances of finishing would go up dramatically. I waited a minute then saw Ryan Post jump out to make his attempt, so I darted off behind him. The beginning was paved and not so bad, but about a third of the way up it was cobbled. It got harder. Halfway up, pain, pot holes and more cobbles. Three quarters of the way up I started to think I can do it, as I heard a massive amount of cheers for me coming from the top. As I crested the top of the hill Gunnar gave me a smack and I could tell his was pretty happy for me and big cheers came from the folks at the top. That was probably the number moment of my cycling life. As I sat the bike to the ground I had to take a minute to slow my heavy breathing from the huge effort, but I was on cloud nine!


After all the excitement of watching folks try to finish the Canton climb we still had a lot of work ahead of us to finish. Boustead Street and then Welsh Way both hurt but I managed my way to the top of both. Two more to go and then I would accomplish my goal! Then we came to Barry/Holt/Eleanor Streets which all made up the second to last climb. This was a monster for me, 100 yards from the top folks dove on to side streets to rest their legs for the rest of the climb up. This is totally legal but I couldn’t let myself do that. I pushed further and further up the hill and I think I felt pain I had never had before. Can I make it, I thought to myself. I could not fail on the next to the last climb! I pushed and I finally made it to the top. It hurt me and I knew it. As I tried to ride a bit and recovery the race organizer Danny Chew said, “Hey 240 lb guy, you make that?” I gathered enough energy to say yes.


The ride from climb 12 to climb 13 had some bonus hills along the way. I say bonus because they were not steep enough to make it into the DD but were painful enough with my worn out legs. A few miles later we started the finial climb as a lady who looked to have been taken some hard core drugs yelled at us from being on the road. I told her to shout up. That defiantly is not my usual personality, I sure the ride was starting to get to me at that point. The first half mile of the climb was manageable however it didn’t end that way. The finish line was atop a steep, steep pitch! I was going to finish I thought to myself. However half way up the final 100 yards I felt pain in my legs like never before and my brain was telling me to STOP! I started to zip zag up the hill just to try and help make it a bit easier, however it didn’t feel like it help much. All of a sudden I heard Gunnar yelling for me that I can do it. Somehow not sure how but I made it to the top. I am well known by many to always be smiling no matter what is going on. Hell I smiled after finishing the Wildness 101 but I had no energy to even do that now. After a few minutes I started to get my breathing calmed down. I did it I thought to myself! I was extremely happy and proud. I can now call myself the heaviest person to EVER finish the Dirty Dozen!


Betsy didn’t do too bad herself. She won ever climb except for one and tied the course record with the highest point’s total. Gunnar since he was unable to really race spent the days riding with her a bunch and supporting her, as well as a side race between him and Mr. Post. Kean and Scott well we lost them somewhere in downtown Pittsburgh. They pulled off to do some Christmas shopping I think. I was a blast of a day. It was great to get to ride and talk to some many cool people and challenge myself at the same time.

Next year, well will see.